Death

People died today.

People die everyday, I know. But today, two people died that I once had some form of interaction with.

Soon after feeding one of my patients lunch today (if raspberry sherbet counts as lunch), I went in to clean him up. Two minutes later, we found out his heart rate was dropping rapidly. A minute after that, he was pronounced dead.

I came home from work and Mom told me that Dave Camp died early this morning. I knew him from Camp Shiloh, and even though I didn't know him well, I still feel like I lost a friend.

I've dealt with death before; three of my grandparents died before I was ten. But dealing with death like this is new to me. I cared for this patient that died today. I was one of the last people to interact with him. And even though I know healthcare professionals have to deal with death and dying frequently, I don't think I was quite ready for it.

There's such a fine line between accepting death and moving forward with work while still grieving sufficiently. Today, I had to harden myself a bit, at least while I was still on the floor. I had a somewhat cathartic run today when I got home, though at some points I couldn't tell if I was wiping tears or sweat off my face. Either way, in a strange way it enabled me to grieve.

I don't ever want to become so callous that death of patients doesn't affect me. At the same time, I don't want to cry over every patient I ever lose. More than anything, though, I don't want to stop learning, laughing, loving, and living.

Growing Up and Getting Weird

I feel old. At least, older.

Yeah, my birthday was yesterday, which led to a gazillion posts on my Facebook wall. (Thanks! You guys are fantastic!) But it was today that made me realize that I'm actually becoming an adult.

My sister's graduation party was today. She's going to Roberts in the fall (insert cheers and grins here) as a Childhood Ed major. If she continues and becomes a teacher, she's going to be fantastic at it. (She'll be good at whatever she does, really.) And dang, isn't she beautiful??

My graduation party was last weekend. Yesterday, I was at RWConnection, figuring out the whole college thing and playing ultimate frisbee. I start my freshman year of college in a few months and I'm so nervous!

And then reality hit.
My graduation party was three years ago. RWConnection is coming up, and I wish I could be there to welcome the freshman class. I start my last year of college in a few months and I'm so nervous!

It's strange that I can now carry on lengthy conversations with adults and not feel (completely) awkward. Clothes in the Juniors department make me look significantly younger than I am. I enjoy cooking and cleaning, and getting laundry done leaves me feeling accomplished. The whole thing is just weird.

Or maybe it's just me.

Chasing Abby's Wish

Someday I'll actually be a real blogger who updates her posts on a regular basis. Someday.

Today, I want to introduce you to a beautiful little girl named Abby. She was adopted from Guatemala several years ago, but now has leukemia. She has been receiving chemo treatments since 2008 and has 170 days to go. To read her full story, you can click here.

Abby has a wish: to be cancer free and have a baby brother or sister. Her parents, Brent and Michelle, fully support her desire for another sibling. They have such a passion to adopt another child, though the upfront costs of this are exorbitant.

I am a goal setter. I have been for as long as I can remember. When I was a senior in high school, I set this goal for myself: to run the Boilermaker before I graduate from college. It's a 15K road race (that's 9.3 miles, if you're curious) that spans the city of Utica. I am so not a runner by nature, but I want to make this happen--not just for me, but for Abby.

I'm asking that you become part of Abby's Wish by sponsoring me to run. Donate per mile or donate for the whole race. Pray for Abby and her family. Help make Abby's Wish come to fruition. My goal is to bring her family $930 ($100 per mile) closer to giving another orphan a mom and dad.

Donations can be made directly to Abby's Wish by clicking here. Please be part of making Abby's Wish come true! Do it for Abby. Do it for her family. Most importantly, do it for the child that will be rescued from poverty and given a forever family.