Okay.

Sometimes, it's okay to be scared.
It's okay to have no idea where life is taking you. I woke up numerous times throughout the night last night--thinking, hoping, dreaming--freaking out. The ironic thing is that I know where I'm going. Okay, not exactly, but I love what I'm studying and I love the career path that I'm heading towards. I have best friends and close friends and acquaintances and everything in between. My relationship with Jesus Christ is growing deeper each day as I'm challenged to live a life of purity and integrity.
Life is good.
So why be scared? Because life is constantly changing. The ebbs and flows of life keep me on my toes, keep me thinking, keep me desiring more, keep me challenged, keep me questioning, keep me hoping and praying and loving and talking and dreaming. They keep me in a world of the unknown, despite plans and goals and dreams.
But the ebbs and flows of life are ordained by God, and He has it all under control. And that, dear friends, is what is so scary. I am not in control of my life. Of course, I make numerous decisions each day, for better or for worse. However, ultimately, I'm only second in command. And while that scares me like nothing else in this world, it's okay. God has everything under control.
So even though I'm a bit freaked about starting my junior year of college and applying to grad school and passing biochem and keeping up with friends and living with integrity...it's okay.


One thing I've learned recently is that more than anything else, God just wants me to trust Him. He sees the big picture, and He knows what I'm feeling even when I cannot explain it to myself. He is worshiped and honored when He is allowed to move as He wants to within my life. A life that is wholly surrendered is a life full of passionate worship to its Creator.

God is more deserving of my worship than anyone else in the universe. The sacrifices that He made as Father and Jesus made as Son simply exceeds what I can comprehend. I suppose that's beauty of grace. But anyway.

Trusting God to be my strength, my joy, my life always means that things come out the right way in the end, even if the right way isn't my way. When He is allowed to work where He belongs (in the middle of it all, leading the way), I am bringing Him glory. If God is worshiped and loved and adored when I completely lose control and let Him live through me, then being scared is okay.