I've been thinking about wisdom since Tuesday.
That's right, Tuesday. Because it was Dr. Roll who first prayed for it.
I know, I know. I cannot help but love the man. At the beginning of a class that I'm not even supposed to be taking right now he prayed that God would give us wisdom in the decisions we make. Well, that just whacked me pretty square upside the head.
It's not that I'd never heard of praying for wisdom. In fact, I've done it before...kind of. Let me explain.
You see, I'm a bit of a control freak. (This sounds like an old post....) And you know what control freaks do (besides...control)? We think we know it all. Decisions are made by weighing the options and logically choosing which is best. There's no praying involved, and certainly not praying to ask someone else to help us decide. After all, we control freaks know everything.
Suffice it to say, my idea of praying for wisdom was always something along the lines of, "God, I want to do what's right. Help me, in my own strength, make the decision that is going to best suit my needs." Do you see the selfishness there? Praying was all about me.
Praying for wisdom is exactly the opposite. Praying for wisdom forces me to stop thinking about my freaking self by admitting, hey, I can't do this on my own. Because the truth is I don't know it all. Not only do I not know it all, but I know barely anything. (My mom would have loved to hear me admit that as a ten-year-old. This notion of I don't know it all really could've helped me out back then.) When I finally decided to pray for wisdom, this wonderful thing called humility came with it. Okay, so at first it wasn't wonderful. But I like the word more now than I did a week ago.
Humility is tough for me, for obvious reasons. After all, didn't you know that knowing everything and being in charge of everything also makes you the best at everything? Ha! I think God must have been rolling around on His (soft, plush) gold carpet laughing at me for the last nineteen years.
Bringing myself to that place of asking for wisdom (because I don't know all the answers and because I'm not the best) was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. But will I continue to do it? You betcha. Who would have thought that Dr. Roll would say something (completely unrelated to science) so profound (and yet so simple) that I would blog about it (and continue to think about it) nearly a week later? Ha! I think God's getting a good laugh out of that one, too.
Lesson Number 2: God speaks through those whom you least expect Him to. But that's for another day....
